Chasing Cars

The more and more that I think about, the more I realize how much I miss Martin and Matthew. I adore you both, but I am closer with Martin. This post is pretty much just going to be about them.

When I met Martin I thought he came off as a douche. I was really off with that one. He turned out to be really sweet and sensitive (like me ;)), smart and kind. He's always been there for me when I need him, even though he's usually pretty busy during the semester for understandable reasons.

I'm going to admit something that I don't think I have told him before but he probably knew. I was VERY jealous of Al when they started dating. Not because I think Martin is a superhot sexmuffin, I have one of those... but because he is my best friend. I was scared that I wouldn't see him anymore and that worst of all - he wouldn't care. I was also terrified of Al not liking me. When I first met Al, I thought the age difference thing really threw her off, but I could tell she really genuinely cared for Martin and was happy to be with his friends. Even then, I was still very unsure of how things would change for my relationship with my best friend. I know Martin has several best friends but apart from Louis and Phil, he's my only one. All my best friends have different roles in my life. Martin is the one I go to whenever I need to talk or feel like I'm being stupid and need some guidance. He's older and maybe he's like the brother I never had. I feel dumb writing this because I'm probably just creeping him out, but it's the truth. While getting to know Al better, I realize that she would never take him away from me as a friend, she's not that type of person. If anything, I gained a friend through Martin, Al. She's kind and so fun. I always get excited when I find out Al's coming. I love when she invites us places because it's usually somewhere I've never been and it's new and exciting. I'm not a very adventurous person but it's so awesome to have a friend like that. It's fun to try new things and Al is a fun person to try them with.

I pass by Martin's house and it hits me that I miss him. It's not the same when Martin and Matthew aren't here. We may not see each other everyday but at least we make an effort. Ryan has been somewhat of a hermit since they left (well before that too, to be honest). He goes to work and raids, and that's pretty much it. I've invited him multiple times to hang out and the last time I've hung out with him in person was Star Trek, which Martin and Matthew were here for. It makes me sad.

Matthew is somewhat still a mystery. He's shy and quiet, but I've seen him open up a lot. I know I sometimes piss him off but he still manages to put up with me. That means a lot to me :). He's always generous and friendly. When I think of Matthew I think of someone who is sincere. That's a great quality to have in a friend. He has more in common with Louis than myself but we still manage to have fun if we just hang out for awhile without anyone around. He's a great guy and I hope he's having fun in China.

It's the summer. I can't wait for Martin and Matthew to get back. We're going to have fun. It may not be CHINA fun, but it will be really fun. Movies, boardgames, videogames, restaurants, cooking pizzas!, puzzles, ER, and so on. I just want to enjoy the outdoors as much as possible this summer and relax with my friends.

I miss you guys. It kind of pains me how much I miss you guys.