Say it Right

I had lunch with Kim and Phil today, along with the normal full-time gang. I came away from it feeling bothered.

I'm very aware that I'm sensitive, analytical and I can come off as overly-obsessive, but I really can't control that. I think about things a lot and some may perceive that as a negative quality, but I think it's one of the major good qualities that I possess.

Being analytical and sensitive allows me to think before I speak and say what I actually mean. I find a common problem many people possess is that they cannot say what they mean, or it's dripping in sarcasm or attitude. When that happens, you're opening yourself up to being misinterpreted and misunderstood. I find myself on the extra-cautious side. I don't say something unless I've thought all of the possible interpretations and repercussions through first. So it's pretty safe to say, if I said something to piss you off, it was probably intentional. I do not like to beat around the bush so to speak. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I have struggled with this for a long time, wondering if it's better to say something in an unclear way that can be interpreted as whatever or really analyze things and think it through. It seems like it be common sense right? But it really isn't. A lot of people see you being 'analytical' as you actually being 'obsessive'. It's also very easily to be seen as obsessive when you have dick all to do at a summer job. The talk during lunch mainly consists of boring repetitive safe conversations, teasing from Ann or the generic how's the weather crapola. That's not my style and I'm glad it's not. I enjoy talking about people, issues and reality, feel free to join me :).

I think one thing people don't realize is that no matter how quickly I become 'obsessive' with something, I can drop my interest in it equally fast.

If I feel, even slightly, like I'm being judged or criticized, I shut down. I become defensive and closed. It may not be the best way to respond but that's me. Some people yell, some people whine, I shut down...and bitch back a little bit if I am quick on my toes.

All this to say, I basically have an issue with how little thought people put into themselves and their words. The way people act is tremendously important to me. If your words don't match up to your actions, I won't like you. It's that simple. In the words of Katy Perry "Shut up and put your money where your mouth is." No one takes into consideration each other's personality anymore.

For example, I have a friend who is very sensitive, has strong beliefs and can be a little closed. I don't approach him the same way I approach someone else who isn't very opinionated and open. It wouldn't make sense, you'd be playing with fire. I guess this doesn't occur to most people but it should.

I hope this doesn't come across as bitchy, it's just how I feel on the subject.